The big-selling redtops avoided the trap. The Mirror, below left, chose a different, though inferior, comparison picture and the Sun, right, used the same one the right way round (which is just as well, since it was on the front and inside).
The Sun, below, ran consecutive spreads from page 6, which meant that the awards took five of the first nine pages. That's the sort of saturation coverage upfront that you expect for a big story, not a set piece. Neither spread was particularly pretty or particularly witty, although the headline on the second was sweet, given Alex Turner's rambling acceptance speech. And the winners' list was given proper display. Apologies for the poor quality of these pictures.
Inside, it made even more of a mess of it, choosing a second picture of Ms Minogue with her sister, Myleene Klass and Jessie J and a cutout of Bowie. Four onlookers and one winner. And all of this was shoved on top of a Madeleine story, complete with mandatory mugshot, and an ad with yet another face. Oh dear.
It does include Ellie Goulding, second left, but Kate Moss is almost invisible with the microphone, winner's card and the award itself.
If you wanted to use Kylie and Danni together, they had to be given twice the space. Kylie may be tiny, but she's not half the size of Moss or Goulding.
And who is this woman on the left? A model called Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, who is, according to that fount of wisdom Wikipedia, best known for modelling for Victoria's Secret and Burberry - and now, presumably, for being four times the size of the Minogues.
Oh, and it would be nice if the Tel told us who'd won the other prizes.
The i meanwhile goes for a static photo of Liam Gallagher looking an idiot alongside Kate Moss. It also ran the back-to-front Bowie picture, but at least it had the sense not to show the telltale bunny in its tiny circle. Again no winners.
The Brits are a bit of nonsense. Nobody has yet worked out the right way to project them. Last year they were 'too staid', so this year Arctic Monkeys were asked to make it more rock 'n' roll. Does a boozy acceptance speech count?
James Corden has been host for five years now and still hasn't got his head round it - although he's improved since he dumped Gavin and stopped cutting off the winning speeches. And he's light years better than the horror that was Sam Fox and Mick Fleetwood.
We've had Prescott and Chambawamba and Michael Jackson and Jarvis Cocker, but still nothing has stirred it up.
Is it glamour is it music? It's neither, it's tacky. It's the Grammys TOWIE style.
So dull pictures of Alex Turner with a guitar and screeds of text don't cut it.
Josh Halliday and Adam Sherwin are both nice writers. But who wants to read an essay of 1,000 words plus on this?
The Brits don't define British music or even come close. So get over yourselves and show your readers the frocks and the flesh.