But inside both papers showed class.
When it comes to telling a serious story, either of these two much-mocked redtops can put the middleweight middle-class white tops to shame. the news coverage of Manchester United today rightly focused on the leap in the share price first thing yesterday - before the official announcement of the Moyes sacking.
The headlines yesterday morning had been hard, really hard. There was no doubt in anyone's mind (other than the Scotsman's) that this was the day it would end. Had the Press been tipped off? The club insisted not, but Wall Street is investigating. Only the Times of the so-called serious papers took proper note of the business implications.
The Guardian mentioned them in its page 3 essay by Helen Pidd and Hatty Collier. The Telegraph sent the story back to sport and made no mention of the share price in its four pages of coverage. The Mail and Express trod the easy route of digging up Ryan Giggs's past and betting on the successor.
But there was more than the football. There were some fine headings in the Mirror. Pun after pun on page after page can be wearing, unless they are good 'uns. Like "Jamaica Inncoherent" on the sound problems afflicting the BBC's Easter banker. Like "You're neked" on the soldier fined for cruelty after swallowing a fish as part of a Neknominate dare. Like "Con can't take the rap" on the prisoner who broke out of jail to escape loud music.
It did fall for the obvious "Heir's Rock" on Will and Kate's visit to the landmark now known as Uluru. So did the Mail, Express, Telegraph and Star - and everyone also felt obliged to reprint the photograph of Charles and Di at the same spot. Will there ever be an end to this replication of "then and now" pictures as the young royals make their way around the world? I fear we know the answer to that.
From one Will to another. Today is not only St George's Day, but also the 450th anniversary of the birth of Shakespeare.
The Mirror, Mail, Express and Telegraph aren't much interested - although the Telegraph does have a "music is the food of love" heading on the front.
The Times tells us that Easyjet has recruited the Reduced Shakespeare Company to perform the abridged version of the complete works on a flight from London to Verona. The Independent is more concerned with the playwright's death - also on April 23 - than birth, reporting that events are being organised all over the world to mark the 400th anniversary next year. This could be a bit awkward, as he died in 1616, so commemorations would be a shade early.
More interesting, perhaps, is the chap who has been publishing the complete works by tweeting a line every ten minutes since 2009. Willy Shakes, aka, @iam_shakespeare, has 46,500 followers and if you want to catch up, he's up to Antony and Cleopatra.
Masterpiece of the day, however, came from the Sun, with its potted versions of complete works in a tabloid spread, as compiled by managing editor Stig Abell, and Hold Ye Front Page style fronts, as seen down the side of this post.
So while the Times is printing photographs of Katie Price and her daughter to illustrate a story about how the name Ned is growing in popularity and an up-the-skirt shot of a mourner at Gabriel Garcia Marquez's funeral, the Sun is turning to mass education.
If you cannot understand my argument, and declare "It's Greek to me", you are quoting Shakespeare.
If you claim to be more sinned against than sinning, you are quoting Shakespeare; if you recall your salad days, you are quoting Shakespeare; if you act more in sorrow than in anger, if your wish is father to the thought, if your lost property has vanished into thin air, you are quoting Shakespeare.
If you have ever refused to budge an inch or suffered from green-eyed jealousy, if you have played fast and loose, if you have been tongue-tied, a tower of strength, hoodwinked or in a pickle, if you have knitted your brows, made a virtue of necessity, insisted on fair play, slept not one wink, stood on ceremony, danced attendance (on your lord and master), laughed yourself into stitches, had short shrift, cold comfort or too much of a good thing, if you have seen better days or lived in a fool's paradise - why, be that as it may, the more fool you, for it is a foregone conclusion that you are (as good luck would have it) quoting Shakespeare.
If you think it is early days and clear out bag and baggage, if you think it is high time and that that is the long and short of it, if you believe that the game is up and that truth will out even if it involves your own flesh and blood, if you lie low till the crack of doom because you suspect foul play, if you have your teeth set on edge (at one fell swoop) without rhyme or reason, then - to give the devil his due - if the truth were known (for surely you have a tongue in your head) you are quoting Shakespeare.
Even if you bid me good riddance and send me packing, if you wish I were dead as a door-nail, if you think I am an eyesore, a laughing stock, the devil incarnate, a stony-hearted villain, bloody-minded or a blinking idiot, then - by Jove! O Lord! Tut, tut! For goodness' sake! What the dickens!
But me no buts - it is all one to me. For you are quoting William Shakespeare